Being a good parent

I express little emotion. Ever. I think I'm missing that switch.

But an odd thing happened recently. I was watching Zombieland with my stepdaughter, and at one point my eyes welled up. I know what people are thinking right now. Yes I just admitted to "crying". To be technical, a tear did try to run down my face. It only made it out of my eye because I blinked. Yes this event also happened during a comedy. Yes this took place during a zombie movie.

Look. It got to me because it discussed the bond between a father and son. I didn't have that with my dad (although we are working on it). I do have it with my son now. He means the world to me. Spending time with him makes everything ok.

I don't see this quality in most guys. Most of the people I know try to dump their kids off any chance they get. I can't fathom that.

Being a parent isn't "hard", it just requires dedication. What makes a parent good is how much they show their love. Parents have to want to be with their kids. They have to spend time, sacrifice, discipline, protect, reward, teach, help, guide.


Spending time is what counts. Most parents get distracted by believing their kids have to turn out a certain way. Don't get caught in this trap. What matters is that your offspring know that they mean the world to you. Love and respect them for the individual they are. Take an interest in what they do. Make an effort to spend time with them. Make sacrifices to spoil them. Give a shit.

Actually, most relationships in life will improve with caring. Now that I think about it...

At a crossroads

Blogging has intrigued me for some time now. I like the thought of seeming like an expert on something. I like the thought of someone randomly stumbling across my thoughts, and seeing some sort of advice in my ramblings.

Today I came across a blog I can't stop reading. I have read several posts, and I keep wanting to read more. She has a style that seems to mirror how I think most times.

I found it because I was looking for career advice. I'm at a crossroads in my life. Things aren't bad, but they aren't the way I want them to be either. I feel like I've been busting my ass to get a promotion, and my boss just doesn't see it.

I'm frustrated by this.

Some of the advice I get is to look for another job. I don't want to. I like the company I work for.

I'm trying to develop a business I can do on the side, but I don't want to depart my employer either.

To make a point here, I'll just say that this is the short version of why I found that blog. After reading Penelope's thoughts, I began to wonder how much benefit I'd get from writing my thoughts down. So far it feels like a good thing. Hopefully this is something I can get into on a regular basis. I'll have to work it in somehow.

I picked up lots of tips from Penelope on how to approach my job. Her frankness is awesome. I hope I can pull it off too.

Basically I need to completely rethink my career strategy. I thought that career advancement worked like school. I'd do my assignments and get rewarded accordingly. I realize that is not how the real world is. A job promotion is such a dance. I hate dancing.

So I guess I will make time this weekend to address my life. I need to figure out what is important to me, and make sure everything I do is towards that goal. Then I can determine what to do with my job. That part of my life might get worked on after the holidays.

Technology is awesome

So today at work, I'm listening to the Diane Rehm show. And there is this guy talking about his new book, The Filter Bubble. If you have some free time, I highly recommend listening to the podcast.

Anyways, he discusses how much data mining goes on and how little there is we can do about it. He points out that information displayed to us in censored. It only shows you what you want to see/agree with. Although I think always hearing what you agree with isn't healthy, that's not what concerns me. What bothers me is that these websites only show you what you agree with by tracking tons and tons of data you provide unknowingly.

What also concerns me is that the genie is out of the bottle. Google knows everything. Facebook and Google both use facial recognition. The F.B.I. tracks everything. Privacy is gone I think.

By the way...I'm pretty sure that by writing this, I'm now on some list

Not the best day.

I'm having a rough day. Money is so tight this week, it seems to be all I think about. To add to this, I overdrew my bank account, and will likely be broke till my next payday over a week away. I am not expressing this for sympathy. This is the bed I made. I am sharing this because it is a major concern in my world.

This morning was stressful because all I thought about was my money problems. My mind just kept going down this rabbit hole. I began to feel sorry for myself. I convinced myself that I wouldn't be in this position if I had finished college, worked for a different company, had a different job, or didn't have a family. This made me feel worse, and continued my slow downward spiral.

During lunch, I was listening to NPR. A father's story about his disabled son flowed from the radio and really began to eat at me. It was a disheartening analysis of the relationship the father had with the son. The longer I listened, the more the story pained me.

Then I began to think about my life again. Things started to get a lot better. I began to realize that my worst problem in life is money. That's it. I don't have a terrible health problem. I don't starve each day. I don't sit at home looking for a job. I don't worry about the daily safety of my family.

I'm not alone. I'm not thirsty. I'm not cold. I'm not wet. I'm not oppressed. I'm not scared. I'm not ignored. I'm not trapped in my life.

I guess my day isn't so bad after all.

Day 4 of 2011 Garden

So far things seem to be going well with my plants. There's not a lot to write about. I'll let the pictures do the talking...








Here are pictures of my strawberry plants. I was a bit nervous that they weren't going to make it, but they seem to be taking off.







Hopefully the weather will get back to "normal" and I can start planting things outside.

Day 2 of 2011 Garden

I live in Cincinnati, Ohio. We just had record rainfall for the month of April. It's very wet here at the moment. In this region, we tend to start planting on Mother's Day because our last frost day is in May. I can't wait that long, so I'm starting my seeds indoors. I'll get to those in a minute.

I have big plans for my garden. But I also have a busy life, so I'm not sure which goals will come to fruition. I'm starting this thread for a couple of reasons. Mainly it's to keep me on track. Hopefully it will develop to inspire others.





Day 2 of garden efforts
Here are a few shots of what I am dealing with. I stood in one spot (facing south) and panned left to right.

^The hedges down the left side is one edge of my yard.^

^The fence along the back side ends up getting covered pretty well by foliage.^

^My yard slopes down to the west.^



In the future, I'll break down the different areas of my yard by projects. The pics above are just a starting point.



For starting some of my seeds, I had to do a bit of hillbilly engineering. I'm 30 and married. The wife has daughters in high school, and we had a son that's almost 15 months old. I have about as much spending money as I have free time. In other words, I'm busy and broke  ;) Hence the hillbilly engineering. I know it's not a pretty setup, but I just needed something functional. So here's what I got:


The seeds are arranged in columns 2 squares wide. I sowed some kind of bean, then peas, then a different bean, then I did only 3 seeds of zucchini in the white tray. The trays nest in a larger tray, and wick water from the bottom. The soil is a mixture of potting soil I found in the shed, and the clay soil that is abundant in this area.


I found a piece of clear plastic to drape over the tray to increase humidity and hold temperature. I know the picture makes it appear more opaque then it really is. This will come off as the plants start to establish themselves.


This is my "grow light". It's a construction light that I have clamped to the shelf above the seed tray. I has two settings (hi/low) and it provides plenty of light and heat for the plants.


My light is plugged into a digital timer. "Sunrise" is promptly at 6 AM, and sets at 10 PM for a total of 17 hours of light.


This is what the whole deal looks like. I know she isn't pretty, but it gets the job done.

I actually like several things about what I did. Having things somewhat take care of themselves is nice. I can just check in now and then to see how they are coming along. I don't have to remember to water all the time, or adjusting the light. Everything just sort of takes care of itself.

Total money spent on this=$0. Everything was already on hand.

I also started some June bearing strawberries in containers on the back patio. I just don't have pics of those yet.

Reasons I go "Green"

Let's set one thing straight. I am not a tree hugger. I believe man was given dominance over the land, and that he can do with it as he sees fit. On the other hand though, I respect all life and don't believe in wasting things foolishly. Yes it's kind of a weird pairing, but it works.

For me, trying to "go green" has mainly one benefit for me-$$$. I am a tightwad. I drive a 2000 Saturn with no power steering, manual transmission, and power nothing. I chose it because there is less to break down, and it gets great mileage (almost hybrid territory). I garden because it keeps me from having to go to the store. I want to build rain barrels because I don't want to pay to water the garden. CFL's fill all my lights because that means I pay the utility company less. None of it has to do with protecting the Earth.

The Earth can take care of itself. It has been here a lot longer then our puny race. And I'm sure it will continue that way once we are gone.

Networking is like a garden.

Nothing beats the smell of working with the earth. A deep breath of freshly dug clay has a nice calming effect. This is why I became interested in gardening. I still consider myself a beginner even though I'm in my third season. Gardening has made me realize something though. It's a lot like building a network.

Gardening is a process that requires time and effort to get results. The ratios of those components vary, but some level of both is required. Some plants require constant attention, like a high maintenance girlfriend for example. Other plants do just fine on their own. These could resemble the aspects of a best friend. At the end of the day, both kinds of plants require effort to succeed.

This is how I've started to few my networking. I'm trying to sow as many seeds as I can. This helps me make more contacts. Then I try to develop each relationship. I'll make it a point to reach out to my contacts every month, sometimes just to say "hi". I've come to realize that if I don't tend to my contacts, I don't get the desired results.

So far my efforts seem to being doing well. Only time will tell what fruit will bear.

Starting a business

Starting a business is a full time job. I'm helping my wife develop her business. I love every minute because each day I develop or learn new skills. Although we have several disagreements about what business decisions, this whole process is making us much closer.

I highly recommend starting a small business. It can be as complicated as you want to make it. There's a lot of truth in the saying, "Choose a job you love, and you'll never work a day in your life."

Black Mutt Brewing

I've added another link in my favorites section. It's a great site about home brewing. Check it out sometime if you get the chance. It's entertaining and educational!

My wife's business

I just wanted to say congrats to my wife for starting up her business. It takes a lot of effort to be an entrepreneur, and I'm glad she has the courage to start it. I think this is something that everyone should look into.

Having your own business, even if it is just a side job, seems to be one of the best ways to be prepared. If run wisely, it becomes an additional income stream. Couple that with a budget, and there will be money left over to make life just a tad more easier.

I'd like to start my own business someday. I'm still trying to find my passion though. Hopefully you'll find that passion too.

At the crest...

I'm at the top of the roller coaster hill. Things in my life seem to be going well this year, and it seems like I'm about to be in for a wild ride. Hope I make it through.

My wife is starting a business. This is forcing me to brush up on some skills. That's a good thing though. I am eager for the challenge.

My main focus is time management. This is something I struggle a lot with. I have no problem working. My problem is trying to balance work and life. This causes.... issues.

Sometimes work takes over my life. I get absorbed in projects, and the need to stay busy. It causes me to stress, and neglect other areas of my life. My family starts to get distant, I lose sleep, I eat more. Bad things start to happen.

So I'll stop and re-evaluate. I drop what I'm doing and focus on enjoying life again. I hang around my family more. I catch up on all that TV I dvr'ed. I become lazy. Bad things start to happen.

Then the cycle repeats and flips back to hard work again. So my plan this year is to strike a balance between these areas of my life. I am done with the huge swings in productivity and relaxation. I want to find time for both. Time for a vacation....

I made it!

Last night was a good reminder that it pays to be prepared. This story might sound a bit dramatic. But it shows how being prepared for the big things, pays huge dividends with the small ones.

My basic Tuesday goes something like this. I work till about five, and depending on traffic, get home about time for everyone at home to be starving for dinner. Including me. I have an 11 month old baby to feed and entertain, as well as two girls in high school. My wife does a great job of leaving things ready for me before she heads to work, and I think that is a main reason I've kept my sanity. I'm not that great at taking care of a family, but I seem to be dealing ok with these nights so far.

Last night was a true test. I had a sick baby. The girls were restless from not having school. And there was a possible ice storm coming. About the time I thought I had survived another Tuesday, the power went out.

No big deal though. I made sure to keep the girl calm by giving them light and tasks. I was stuck holding the baby and giving directions. And they did great. It was only pitch black for a few moments. I was able to get my son to venture off to nappy land. The girls helped gather candles, and flashlights. I also had them bring in my backpack of supplies (my BOB), but that wasn't necessary.

This event did shed some light on some holes in our preps. Having an alternative form of heat in our house is among the top on the list. A generator would be nice as well. The wife and I will need to discuss this and figure out a plan.

All in all, Murphy wasn't able to put a damper on the night. Thank goodness our house was prepared. I could have been much worse.