Being a good parent

I express little emotion. Ever. I think I'm missing that switch.

But an odd thing happened recently. I was watching Zombieland with my stepdaughter, and at one point my eyes welled up. I know what people are thinking right now. Yes I just admitted to "crying". To be technical, a tear did try to run down my face. It only made it out of my eye because I blinked. Yes this event also happened during a comedy. Yes this took place during a zombie movie.

Look. It got to me because it discussed the bond between a father and son. I didn't have that with my dad (although we are working on it). I do have it with my son now. He means the world to me. Spending time with him makes everything ok.

I don't see this quality in most guys. Most of the people I know try to dump their kids off any chance they get. I can't fathom that.

Being a parent isn't "hard", it just requires dedication. What makes a parent good is how much they show their love. Parents have to want to be with their kids. They have to spend time, sacrifice, discipline, protect, reward, teach, help, guide.


Spending time is what counts. Most parents get distracted by believing their kids have to turn out a certain way. Don't get caught in this trap. What matters is that your offspring know that they mean the world to you. Love and respect them for the individual they are. Take an interest in what they do. Make an effort to spend time with them. Make sacrifices to spoil them. Give a shit.

Actually, most relationships in life will improve with caring. Now that I think about it...

At a crossroads

Blogging has intrigued me for some time now. I like the thought of seeming like an expert on something. I like the thought of someone randomly stumbling across my thoughts, and seeing some sort of advice in my ramblings.

Today I came across a blog I can't stop reading. I have read several posts, and I keep wanting to read more. She has a style that seems to mirror how I think most times.

I found it because I was looking for career advice. I'm at a crossroads in my life. Things aren't bad, but they aren't the way I want them to be either. I feel like I've been busting my ass to get a promotion, and my boss just doesn't see it.

I'm frustrated by this.

Some of the advice I get is to look for another job. I don't want to. I like the company I work for.

I'm trying to develop a business I can do on the side, but I don't want to depart my employer either.

To make a point here, I'll just say that this is the short version of why I found that blog. After reading Penelope's thoughts, I began to wonder how much benefit I'd get from writing my thoughts down. So far it feels like a good thing. Hopefully this is something I can get into on a regular basis. I'll have to work it in somehow.

I picked up lots of tips from Penelope on how to approach my job. Her frankness is awesome. I hope I can pull it off too.

Basically I need to completely rethink my career strategy. I thought that career advancement worked like school. I'd do my assignments and get rewarded accordingly. I realize that is not how the real world is. A job promotion is such a dance. I hate dancing.

So I guess I will make time this weekend to address my life. I need to figure out what is important to me, and make sure everything I do is towards that goal. Then I can determine what to do with my job. That part of my life might get worked on after the holidays.

Technology is awesome

So today at work, I'm listening to the Diane Rehm show. And there is this guy talking about his new book, The Filter Bubble. If you have some free time, I highly recommend listening to the podcast.

Anyways, he discusses how much data mining goes on and how little there is we can do about it. He points out that information displayed to us in censored. It only shows you what you want to see/agree with. Although I think always hearing what you agree with isn't healthy, that's not what concerns me. What bothers me is that these websites only show you what you agree with by tracking tons and tons of data you provide unknowingly.

What also concerns me is that the genie is out of the bottle. Google knows everything. Facebook and Google both use facial recognition. The F.B.I. tracks everything. Privacy is gone I think.

By the way...I'm pretty sure that by writing this, I'm now on some list

Not the best day.

I'm having a rough day. Money is so tight this week, it seems to be all I think about. To add to this, I overdrew my bank account, and will likely be broke till my next payday over a week away. I am not expressing this for sympathy. This is the bed I made. I am sharing this because it is a major concern in my world.

This morning was stressful because all I thought about was my money problems. My mind just kept going down this rabbit hole. I began to feel sorry for myself. I convinced myself that I wouldn't be in this position if I had finished college, worked for a different company, had a different job, or didn't have a family. This made me feel worse, and continued my slow downward spiral.

During lunch, I was listening to NPR. A father's story about his disabled son flowed from the radio and really began to eat at me. It was a disheartening analysis of the relationship the father had with the son. The longer I listened, the more the story pained me.

Then I began to think about my life again. Things started to get a lot better. I began to realize that my worst problem in life is money. That's it. I don't have a terrible health problem. I don't starve each day. I don't sit at home looking for a job. I don't worry about the daily safety of my family.

I'm not alone. I'm not thirsty. I'm not cold. I'm not wet. I'm not oppressed. I'm not scared. I'm not ignored. I'm not trapped in my life.

I guess my day isn't so bad after all.

Day 4 of 2011 Garden

So far things seem to be going well with my plants. There's not a lot to write about. I'll let the pictures do the talking...








Here are pictures of my strawberry plants. I was a bit nervous that they weren't going to make it, but they seem to be taking off.







Hopefully the weather will get back to "normal" and I can start planting things outside.

Day 2 of 2011 Garden

I live in Cincinnati, Ohio. We just had record rainfall for the month of April. It's very wet here at the moment. In this region, we tend to start planting on Mother's Day because our last frost day is in May. I can't wait that long, so I'm starting my seeds indoors. I'll get to those in a minute.

I have big plans for my garden. But I also have a busy life, so I'm not sure which goals will come to fruition. I'm starting this thread for a couple of reasons. Mainly it's to keep me on track. Hopefully it will develop to inspire others.





Day 2 of garden efforts
Here are a few shots of what I am dealing with. I stood in one spot (facing south) and panned left to right.

^The hedges down the left side is one edge of my yard.^

^The fence along the back side ends up getting covered pretty well by foliage.^

^My yard slopes down to the west.^



In the future, I'll break down the different areas of my yard by projects. The pics above are just a starting point.



For starting some of my seeds, I had to do a bit of hillbilly engineering. I'm 30 and married. The wife has daughters in high school, and we had a son that's almost 15 months old. I have about as much spending money as I have free time. In other words, I'm busy and broke  ;) Hence the hillbilly engineering. I know it's not a pretty setup, but I just needed something functional. So here's what I got:


The seeds are arranged in columns 2 squares wide. I sowed some kind of bean, then peas, then a different bean, then I did only 3 seeds of zucchini in the white tray. The trays nest in a larger tray, and wick water from the bottom. The soil is a mixture of potting soil I found in the shed, and the clay soil that is abundant in this area.


I found a piece of clear plastic to drape over the tray to increase humidity and hold temperature. I know the picture makes it appear more opaque then it really is. This will come off as the plants start to establish themselves.


This is my "grow light". It's a construction light that I have clamped to the shelf above the seed tray. I has two settings (hi/low) and it provides plenty of light and heat for the plants.


My light is plugged into a digital timer. "Sunrise" is promptly at 6 AM, and sets at 10 PM for a total of 17 hours of light.


This is what the whole deal looks like. I know she isn't pretty, but it gets the job done.

I actually like several things about what I did. Having things somewhat take care of themselves is nice. I can just check in now and then to see how they are coming along. I don't have to remember to water all the time, or adjusting the light. Everything just sort of takes care of itself.

Total money spent on this=$0. Everything was already on hand.

I also started some June bearing strawberries in containers on the back patio. I just don't have pics of those yet.

Reasons I go "Green"

Let's set one thing straight. I am not a tree hugger. I believe man was given dominance over the land, and that he can do with it as he sees fit. On the other hand though, I respect all life and don't believe in wasting things foolishly. Yes it's kind of a weird pairing, but it works.

For me, trying to "go green" has mainly one benefit for me-$$$. I am a tightwad. I drive a 2000 Saturn with no power steering, manual transmission, and power nothing. I chose it because there is less to break down, and it gets great mileage (almost hybrid territory). I garden because it keeps me from having to go to the store. I want to build rain barrels because I don't want to pay to water the garden. CFL's fill all my lights because that means I pay the utility company less. None of it has to do with protecting the Earth.

The Earth can take care of itself. It has been here a lot longer then our puny race. And I'm sure it will continue that way once we are gone.