Being a good parent

I express little emotion. Ever. I think I'm missing that switch.

But an odd thing happened recently. I was watching Zombieland with my stepdaughter, and at one point my eyes welled up. I know what people are thinking right now. Yes I just admitted to "crying". To be technical, a tear did try to run down my face. It only made it out of my eye because I blinked. Yes this event also happened during a comedy. Yes this took place during a zombie movie.

Look. It got to me because it discussed the bond between a father and son. I didn't have that with my dad (although we are working on it). I do have it with my son now. He means the world to me. Spending time with him makes everything ok.

I don't see this quality in most guys. Most of the people I know try to dump their kids off any chance they get. I can't fathom that.

Being a parent isn't "hard", it just requires dedication. What makes a parent good is how much they show their love. Parents have to want to be with their kids. They have to spend time, sacrifice, discipline, protect, reward, teach, help, guide.


Spending time is what counts. Most parents get distracted by believing their kids have to turn out a certain way. Don't get caught in this trap. What matters is that your offspring know that they mean the world to you. Love and respect them for the individual they are. Take an interest in what they do. Make an effort to spend time with them. Make sacrifices to spoil them. Give a shit.

Actually, most relationships in life will improve with caring. Now that I think about it...

At a crossroads

Blogging has intrigued me for some time now. I like the thought of seeming like an expert on something. I like the thought of someone randomly stumbling across my thoughts, and seeing some sort of advice in my ramblings.

Today I came across a blog I can't stop reading. I have read several posts, and I keep wanting to read more. She has a style that seems to mirror how I think most times.

I found it because I was looking for career advice. I'm at a crossroads in my life. Things aren't bad, but they aren't the way I want them to be either. I feel like I've been busting my ass to get a promotion, and my boss just doesn't see it.

I'm frustrated by this.

Some of the advice I get is to look for another job. I don't want to. I like the company I work for.

I'm trying to develop a business I can do on the side, but I don't want to depart my employer either.

To make a point here, I'll just say that this is the short version of why I found that blog. After reading Penelope's thoughts, I began to wonder how much benefit I'd get from writing my thoughts down. So far it feels like a good thing. Hopefully this is something I can get into on a regular basis. I'll have to work it in somehow.

I picked up lots of tips from Penelope on how to approach my job. Her frankness is awesome. I hope I can pull it off too.

Basically I need to completely rethink my career strategy. I thought that career advancement worked like school. I'd do my assignments and get rewarded accordingly. I realize that is not how the real world is. A job promotion is such a dance. I hate dancing.

So I guess I will make time this weekend to address my life. I need to figure out what is important to me, and make sure everything I do is towards that goal. Then I can determine what to do with my job. That part of my life might get worked on after the holidays.

Technology is awesome

So today at work, I'm listening to the Diane Rehm show. And there is this guy talking about his new book, The Filter Bubble. If you have some free time, I highly recommend listening to the podcast.

Anyways, he discusses how much data mining goes on and how little there is we can do about it. He points out that information displayed to us in censored. It only shows you what you want to see/agree with. Although I think always hearing what you agree with isn't healthy, that's not what concerns me. What bothers me is that these websites only show you what you agree with by tracking tons and tons of data you provide unknowingly.

What also concerns me is that the genie is out of the bottle. Google knows everything. Facebook and Google both use facial recognition. The F.B.I. tracks everything. Privacy is gone I think.

By the way...I'm pretty sure that by writing this, I'm now on some list

Not the best day.

I'm having a rough day. Money is so tight this week, it seems to be all I think about. To add to this, I overdrew my bank account, and will likely be broke till my next payday over a week away. I am not expressing this for sympathy. This is the bed I made. I am sharing this because it is a major concern in my world.

This morning was stressful because all I thought about was my money problems. My mind just kept going down this rabbit hole. I began to feel sorry for myself. I convinced myself that I wouldn't be in this position if I had finished college, worked for a different company, had a different job, or didn't have a family. This made me feel worse, and continued my slow downward spiral.

During lunch, I was listening to NPR. A father's story about his disabled son flowed from the radio and really began to eat at me. It was a disheartening analysis of the relationship the father had with the son. The longer I listened, the more the story pained me.

Then I began to think about my life again. Things started to get a lot better. I began to realize that my worst problem in life is money. That's it. I don't have a terrible health problem. I don't starve each day. I don't sit at home looking for a job. I don't worry about the daily safety of my family.

I'm not alone. I'm not thirsty. I'm not cold. I'm not wet. I'm not oppressed. I'm not scared. I'm not ignored. I'm not trapped in my life.

I guess my day isn't so bad after all.

Day 4 of 2011 Garden

So far things seem to be going well with my plants. There's not a lot to write about. I'll let the pictures do the talking...








Here are pictures of my strawberry plants. I was a bit nervous that they weren't going to make it, but they seem to be taking off.







Hopefully the weather will get back to "normal" and I can start planting things outside.

Day 2 of 2011 Garden

I live in Cincinnati, Ohio. We just had record rainfall for the month of April. It's very wet here at the moment. In this region, we tend to start planting on Mother's Day because our last frost day is in May. I can't wait that long, so I'm starting my seeds indoors. I'll get to those in a minute.

I have big plans for my garden. But I also have a busy life, so I'm not sure which goals will come to fruition. I'm starting this thread for a couple of reasons. Mainly it's to keep me on track. Hopefully it will develop to inspire others.





Day 2 of garden efforts
Here are a few shots of what I am dealing with. I stood in one spot (facing south) and panned left to right.

^The hedges down the left side is one edge of my yard.^

^The fence along the back side ends up getting covered pretty well by foliage.^

^My yard slopes down to the west.^



In the future, I'll break down the different areas of my yard by projects. The pics above are just a starting point.



For starting some of my seeds, I had to do a bit of hillbilly engineering. I'm 30 and married. The wife has daughters in high school, and we had a son that's almost 15 months old. I have about as much spending money as I have free time. In other words, I'm busy and broke  ;) Hence the hillbilly engineering. I know it's not a pretty setup, but I just needed something functional. So here's what I got:


The seeds are arranged in columns 2 squares wide. I sowed some kind of bean, then peas, then a different bean, then I did only 3 seeds of zucchini in the white tray. The trays nest in a larger tray, and wick water from the bottom. The soil is a mixture of potting soil I found in the shed, and the clay soil that is abundant in this area.


I found a piece of clear plastic to drape over the tray to increase humidity and hold temperature. I know the picture makes it appear more opaque then it really is. This will come off as the plants start to establish themselves.


This is my "grow light". It's a construction light that I have clamped to the shelf above the seed tray. I has two settings (hi/low) and it provides plenty of light and heat for the plants.


My light is plugged into a digital timer. "Sunrise" is promptly at 6 AM, and sets at 10 PM for a total of 17 hours of light.


This is what the whole deal looks like. I know she isn't pretty, but it gets the job done.

I actually like several things about what I did. Having things somewhat take care of themselves is nice. I can just check in now and then to see how they are coming along. I don't have to remember to water all the time, or adjusting the light. Everything just sort of takes care of itself.

Total money spent on this=$0. Everything was already on hand.

I also started some June bearing strawberries in containers on the back patio. I just don't have pics of those yet.

Reasons I go "Green"

Let's set one thing straight. I am not a tree hugger. I believe man was given dominance over the land, and that he can do with it as he sees fit. On the other hand though, I respect all life and don't believe in wasting things foolishly. Yes it's kind of a weird pairing, but it works.

For me, trying to "go green" has mainly one benefit for me-$$$. I am a tightwad. I drive a 2000 Saturn with no power steering, manual transmission, and power nothing. I chose it because there is less to break down, and it gets great mileage (almost hybrid territory). I garden because it keeps me from having to go to the store. I want to build rain barrels because I don't want to pay to water the garden. CFL's fill all my lights because that means I pay the utility company less. None of it has to do with protecting the Earth.

The Earth can take care of itself. It has been here a lot longer then our puny race. And I'm sure it will continue that way once we are gone.

Networking is like a garden.

Nothing beats the smell of working with the earth. A deep breath of freshly dug clay has a nice calming effect. This is why I became interested in gardening. I still consider myself a beginner even though I'm in my third season. Gardening has made me realize something though. It's a lot like building a network.

Gardening is a process that requires time and effort to get results. The ratios of those components vary, but some level of both is required. Some plants require constant attention, like a high maintenance girlfriend for example. Other plants do just fine on their own. These could resemble the aspects of a best friend. At the end of the day, both kinds of plants require effort to succeed.

This is how I've started to few my networking. I'm trying to sow as many seeds as I can. This helps me make more contacts. Then I try to develop each relationship. I'll make it a point to reach out to my contacts every month, sometimes just to say "hi". I've come to realize that if I don't tend to my contacts, I don't get the desired results.

So far my efforts seem to being doing well. Only time will tell what fruit will bear.

Starting a business

Starting a business is a full time job. I'm helping my wife develop her business. I love every minute because each day I develop or learn new skills. Although we have several disagreements about what business decisions, this whole process is making us much closer.

I highly recommend starting a small business. It can be as complicated as you want to make it. There's a lot of truth in the saying, "Choose a job you love, and you'll never work a day in your life."

Black Mutt Brewing

I've added another link in my favorites section. It's a great site about home brewing. Check it out sometime if you get the chance. It's entertaining and educational!

My wife's business

I just wanted to say congrats to my wife for starting up her business. It takes a lot of effort to be an entrepreneur, and I'm glad she has the courage to start it. I think this is something that everyone should look into.

Having your own business, even if it is just a side job, seems to be one of the best ways to be prepared. If run wisely, it becomes an additional income stream. Couple that with a budget, and there will be money left over to make life just a tad more easier.

I'd like to start my own business someday. I'm still trying to find my passion though. Hopefully you'll find that passion too.

At the crest...

I'm at the top of the roller coaster hill. Things in my life seem to be going well this year, and it seems like I'm about to be in for a wild ride. Hope I make it through.

My wife is starting a business. This is forcing me to brush up on some skills. That's a good thing though. I am eager for the challenge.

My main focus is time management. This is something I struggle a lot with. I have no problem working. My problem is trying to balance work and life. This causes.... issues.

Sometimes work takes over my life. I get absorbed in projects, and the need to stay busy. It causes me to stress, and neglect other areas of my life. My family starts to get distant, I lose sleep, I eat more. Bad things start to happen.

So I'll stop and re-evaluate. I drop what I'm doing and focus on enjoying life again. I hang around my family more. I catch up on all that TV I dvr'ed. I become lazy. Bad things start to happen.

Then the cycle repeats and flips back to hard work again. So my plan this year is to strike a balance between these areas of my life. I am done with the huge swings in productivity and relaxation. I want to find time for both. Time for a vacation....

I made it!

Last night was a good reminder that it pays to be prepared. This story might sound a bit dramatic. But it shows how being prepared for the big things, pays huge dividends with the small ones.

My basic Tuesday goes something like this. I work till about five, and depending on traffic, get home about time for everyone at home to be starving for dinner. Including me. I have an 11 month old baby to feed and entertain, as well as two girls in high school. My wife does a great job of leaving things ready for me before she heads to work, and I think that is a main reason I've kept my sanity. I'm not that great at taking care of a family, but I seem to be dealing ok with these nights so far.

Last night was a true test. I had a sick baby. The girls were restless from not having school. And there was a possible ice storm coming. About the time I thought I had survived another Tuesday, the power went out.

No big deal though. I made sure to keep the girl calm by giving them light and tasks. I was stuck holding the baby and giving directions. And they did great. It was only pitch black for a few moments. I was able to get my son to venture off to nappy land. The girls helped gather candles, and flashlights. I also had them bring in my backpack of supplies (my BOB), but that wasn't necessary.

This event did shed some light on some holes in our preps. Having an alternative form of heat in our house is among the top on the list. A generator would be nice as well. The wife and I will need to discuss this and figure out a plan.

All in all, Murphy wasn't able to put a damper on the night. Thank goodness our house was prepared. I could have been much worse.

Go Bag aka BOB

So I've been doing some thinking about the Bug Out Bag concept. I came across a thread where people listed the contents of their bags. Some were very military-esque, others looked more like camping gear. I'm not sure what category mine would fall into.

I believe a "Go Bag", or whatever you prefer to call it, is a very personal thing. I'm not saying this in a melodramatic way. I just feel it is an extension of the creator. The person that it will do the most for is the one that put it together. In order to know what to include, I think we have to analyze our lifestyle.

My particular life has the following factors. I have a 20 mile commute. I have an 8 month old boy. My funding is very limited. I'm in good enough shape to walk/hike cover several miles on foot, though I haven't found my limit... I'm strong both physically and mentally. I'm also a great problem solver with tons of creativity. Boiled down, this means I don't mind carrying a bunch of stuff, but if it's in my pack, it better have multiple uses.

Basic stuff I include in my bag are things that could transfer between any one's. I have a multi-tool, knife, basic first aid, water, lighter, change of clothes, flashlight, deck of cards, pencil and paper, compass. I also try to have redundancy with these, but I'll touch on that in a sec. These items are a great foundation for anyone.

Some of the personal items I include are a hatchet for dealing with wood. I also have a folding camp shovel to make digging easier. Toilet paper was thrown in when I realized how nice it would be to have a luxury item like that in a bad situation. Throwing in the TP made me toss in a few other luxuries. I now have 2 sawzall blades, second flashlight, baby wipes, zipties, ziplock bags, duct tape, figure 9's, carabiners, 550 cord, file, wet naps, chapstick, paper clips, sunscreen wipes, vapor rub inhaler, and aluminum foil (in case I need a hat lol).

All that stuff is great, and there are many things I use from it weekly. It's my man-purse. Bottom line though is it will help me get where I need to be. And because I have items for daily use in it, I'm more likely to have the bag with me at all times.

As for the redundancy part I said I'd get back to, my thought process goes something like this...
I have no idea what I'll need to be ready for, but I know what I need to survive most things that will come my way. I don't want to rely on my bag because there may come a time when it is unavailable to me. Many of the items in my pack serve a dual purpose. That way in case something is broken or lost, I have a back-up. The main thing I rely on are my survival skills. I'm not a hunter or Bear Grylls, but I'm confident I could make it back to my family, or stay put and await rescue if need be.

Entry 3 - How to make pickles

One thing I like about being prepared is being self sufficient. I'm proud of my skills, and love when I get the chance to learn new ones. Last year I decided to start my first garden (I'll detail this in another post). Making pickles from the cucumbers I grew was at the top of my list. Here's how I made the best pickles ever tasted by anyone.

You'll need a couple of supplies to get started. I used the following:
Qt sized Mason Jars
Cucumbers
Mandolin
Sugar
Salt
White Vinegar
Fresh garlic glove
Fresh Dillweed
Boiling pots

The cucumbers have a better taste when picked early in the morning (don't ask me why, I just read that somewhere). So pick a bunch when they range in size of 4-6 inches long and about 2 inches in diameter. It'll look something like this-



They need to be rinsed well and left out to slice. As I got ready to slice, I cleaned and sanitized the mandolin.



I used it to make varying slices of pickles. Most were sliced like chips, some were sliced lengthwise and some were ripple cut. Have fun with it, but watch your finger tips. Nobody wants a mess in their pickles... Here's how some turned out.



After slicing, I proceeded to create the pickle solution. Before I share the recipe I used, just know that I didn't follow it to the letter. It wasn't for lack of trying, but this thing is written like an ancient potion recipe. I kept wondering when I needed to drop in the eye of newt. Fortunately for me, it's just an Amish recipe my grandma shared with me. Unless you're a chef, these directions leave something to be desired. Here are the ingredients:



And here's the recipe:

Sweet Dill Pickles to Can
3c. white sugar
3c. vinegar
1c. water
2T. salt
Heat to melt sugar. Wash and slice pickles thin. Pack in jars ¾ full. Add and 1 good size dill head and 2 slice garlic. Put in canner, let come to boil for 5 minutes, turn off heat, let set in water till cool. Take out jars. This is enough juice for 3 qt.

-Alma Hershberger

Nice huh? I'm not sure what a "good size dill head" is either. After I made the "juice", I started preparing the canning supplies. Clean and sterile is the name of the game here. I started by rinsing the jars in hot water and letting the hot water warm them up so they didn't crack later.



While those sat, I sterilized anything that would come into contact with the jars by boiling them in a pot.



As all that sat getting ready, I started my canning pot outside. It uses a propane burner, and I love it. It keeps a constant temperature, and gets extremely hot with a quickness. I highly recommend one.



Since everything was ready to go at this point, I put the pickles in their new homes, and got them ready to take outside to bake.



The lids were put on and the rings were tightened down snug. All the jars were carefully placed in the basket and lowered into the hot water bath.



This caused the pot to stop boiling for a few seconds...



But it quickly came back.



Five agonizing minutes later they were ready to be removed. They need to rest a bit before going into storage, and I waited about a week before I opened one to let the flavors meld together.



These pickles didn't last very long. They were amazing. My uber-picky wife who HATES pickles reluctantly tried one and loved them. (If you knew my wife, that says a lot). If you try to make these, I hope you have the same results. I was really looking forward to making them again this year, but my cucumbers just never did very well this year. Thanks for reading.

Entry 2 - Baseline

Anytime in life a person wants to analyze change, a baseline must be established. It is the only way to accurately determine whether conditions have improved or declined. For me, trying to get a baseline of my life is key to improving it. In order to do this, I'll have to divide my life into categories and probably subcategories. Here's an initial list of all the areas I want improvement in (not in any order):

Finances
Health
Security
Preparedness
Basic Skill Sets
Being a dad
Being a husband
Self-reliance
Home-life

Ummm.... on second thought, maybe I need to just focus on these. I realized I could keep making this list longer and longer, but I feel these are some good areas to start with.

One thing that has been on my mind today is security. After watching an episode of The Colony, I started to think about how secure my home is. I noticed quite a few holes in my plan. Since I rent, I am somewhat limited by what I can do to secure my home. I think the area I'm lacking in most is awareness. I need to find a way to know when someone approaches my house, and to alert me if there's a break in. I'd like to be able to rely on my dog, but she's just as good at sleeping as I am. Even though my place is lacking in some areas, I feel my home security is above average for my area.

I have a ranch style house made out of brick with a basement. This basically limits entry to a few areas; windows, front door, back door, and garage. I'm not too worried about the windows because they are the old crank style. Although they are single pane, the frame design would limit entry to someone built like an Ethiopian. I would like to install alarms on the glass, as well as ballistic film. The front door is also a poor point of entry for intruders because it is completely solid and has no glass. The only thing I'm concerned of with this area is the huge glass window next to the door. The back door is a major concern to me. This seems to be the weakest entry point. I need to think of some way to fortify this area... maybe a force field. As for the garage, well, I'd probably feel sorry for them. It's a mess. I can barely get through it sometimes so there's no worries of them surprising me from that angle. Just to err on the side of caution though, I've installed a wireless camera that watches the driveway. There are details I am with-holding for obvious reasons, but I think I've made my point.

Understand that I'm not paranoid. I know the black helicopters aren't out to get me. I'm not naive either. Cincinnati has had riots in the past, and I've had things stolen from vehicles quite a few times. There are bad people in the world that mean others harm. I want to be ready for them. Invading my house is a great way to die from "lead poisoning"...

Entry 1 - Blogging Noob

I have often been told I write well. Writing has never been my fancy to be honest, but I feel like I should try my hand at blogging because I am a long-winded talker. That's why I started this. Now I'm not sure what I should blog about, so I'm going to try a few different areas of interest and see what happens.

One major thing I see me focusing on is improving my life. I am far from perfect, and strive to make improvements in every area of my life. Certain aspects of my life get more focus then others, but I do try to give time to all things that are important to me.

For instance, I have a huge interest in being prepared. You could call me a "Risk Management Professional". I don't have the time or money to accomplish everything I'd like to, but I am able to sneak improvements in here and there. I have a budget I make due with during the week. It pays for my gas, food for lunch and breakfast, and I use what's left for my preps. I'll go to the grocery after I've planned out my meals, and buy what's needed for the week. Then I'll stock up on a few items here and there that are good for storing. I can't get much, but it slowly adds up.

I don't wear a tinfoil hat though. I want to be ready for the stuff that's most likely to happen to me and my family. I tend to refer to a mental probability matrix when I plan for things:

This ensures I don't waste time and money on stuff that won't matter.

Right now, and for the foreseeable future, my main concern is stocking up on food. My family is ready for something little, but that's it. It's a great feeling though when my wife needs something she thinks we're out of, and I reach in the pantry and get it for her.

Thanks for reading, I'll post again soon...